Thursday, August 30, 2007

Guaranteed Video Poker Play Not So Popular

Stations Casino is going full boar to promote the new "Guaranteed Play" Video Poker machines. Here is the low down from IGT

Tonight I went to Red Rock Casino, and was immediately greeted by signage touting the Guaranteed Play machines.

All the floor personnel doing the grunt work were wearing Guaranteed Play polo shirts.

Large mylar helium balloons with the Guaranteed Play logo were attached to the machines.

Stations is also pushing a promotion with a million free hands of video poker, I'm guessing it is tied into these machines . . . but I am NOT a video poker player, so I doubt I'll find out. Not that I have never played it, I just prefer video themed slots. I'm not an idiot, I know if I master video poker play my odds are considerably better than the machines I frequent. But I digress . . .

For all the hoopla I did not see one player seated at these Guaranteed Play machines -- not one, and I was in the casino over three hours.

For IGT's and Station Casino's sake I hope this concept catches on, but honestly, it has one fatal flaw . . . it moves the gambler away from gambling, and tries to sell him or her entertainment.

They should have steered clear of the video poker player, and targeted morons like me, who actually do play for entertainment. Video poker has been called Video Crack, and apparently it is rather addictive. But there is a reason for it -- it actually does incorporate an illusion of skill. And of course nothing is more addictive than power.

Luckily for all of us, "Guaranteed Play" is only one of the hundreds of variations the major slot companies are cooking up for us slot jockeys. And due to a wonderful concept called "supply and demand" if we don't like the product, they will vanish from the casino floor.

The new technology that really has me worried is "server based" machines, that will allow the eyes in the sky to change the odds on our play at their whim. I already believe the house is reading my mind through the use of my player card, so for a conspiracy theorist like me, they ought to be designing George Orwell 1984 themed machines. How stupid do they think we are?

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