I have a saying that I reserve for a word of scarcastic consolation in those trying times when the slot machines have their evil way with my wallet. It goes a little something like this -- "Well, you can't lose ALL the time!"
It reminds me of the scene in the movie "Casino" when the slot manager Don Ward (played with aplomb by Joe Bob Briggs) is getting bitched out by DeNiro's Ace Rothstein (based on legendary Lefty Rosenthal) for letting three jackpots hit in close succession. The exchange goes something like this (I'm paraphrasing) -- Ace - "Did you not see you were being set up on the third win?!"
Don - "It's a casino, people got to WIN sometimes!"
Yes, indeedy! People got to WIN sometimes!
And so, on this day set aside to eat and give thanks, I will set my table with my promotional casino turkey platter, tureen, and pumpkin gravy boat, cut my free pumpkin pie, reminisce about my free buffet last night and it's bounty of offerings, and give sincere thanks for all that is good in life.
After all, people got to win sometimes, and last night I did. I had turkey with all the trimmings, and even some duck and fried shrimp (I just have to have fried something at the buffet) all for free, paying with my points at Red Rock. If I had been playing instead of eating I would have even scored $50 free play when the Jumbo Jackpot hit! Come to think about it, the night before I came out slightly ahead and scored a free apple pie. So everynow and again there IS such a thing as a free lunch, and a free pie. God Bless Las Vegas!
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
IGT's New Slot Offerings from the Expo
I'm still perusing the stacks of brochures and magazines I picked up from last weeks Global Gaming Expo.
The big news from IGT (other than server based gaming, and guaranteed play) seems to be the eBay themed machine, Indiana Jones, a new Star Wars, and a space saving version of the Wheel of Fortune UFO.
The eBay bank certainly took up the most space in their booth, and was eye catching in it's graphic simplicity and primary color palette that is the eBay logo. In a world of bells and whistles, the message here seems to be "less is more." Unfortunately, they followed that theme to a logical end, and made the game itself, well, rather boring.
As someone who spends a lot of time on eBay, I have to say the online auction virtual marketplace is anything BUT boring. The auction concept brings instant and constant excitement, an aspect the eBay slot machine game designers seemed to have missed entirely. There is no auction bonus round in this machine, one where your credits increase as eBayers bid up your items.
There is a community bonus -- which is essentially a "Group Play Free Spins Bonus" with wilds and scatter pays.
IGT describes the allure of this machine thusly: "There's instant brand recognition and an "I HAVE to play THAT game!" reaction when players see the eBay Video Slots game."
I'm not sure this is true, but the five machine bank is big, and if bigger is better, I will say the new machine is hard to ignore. I just think the game itself is a huge let-down.
On the subject of size, IGT has made it's giant UFO looking round Wheel of Fortune machine bank smaller. In their own words "A redesigned wheel and machine footprint means you have more space on your floor. Five player stations face a vertical eye-catching wheel, offering a social atmosphere with great attraction."
IGT is constantly reinventing the Wheel of Fortune machines, but I doubt any have proved as popular as the original quarter machine. If you read between the lines like I do, you might see "The big thing didn't perform as well as we all hoped, and have been vanishing from casino floors, here is our solution -- we are downsizing." As far as I'm concerned they need to make a version that doesn't require an 80 credit bet on the penny machines to be eligible for the big spins. Loosen up the wheel and you might get more players.
I'm not terribly excited about the new Star Wars or Indiana Jones machines. The graphics are great, but if they are anything like the Star Wars predecessors the bonuses will be extremely hard to get.
I'm not saying I won't test ride these machines when they hit the floor, but I seriously doubt any of them will hold my interest or capture my gambling money for long.
IGT has simply rested on their laurels for too long, and allowed their competition WMS to overtake them as arbiters of innovation.
The big news from IGT (other than server based gaming, and guaranteed play) seems to be the eBay themed machine, Indiana Jones, a new Star Wars, and a space saving version of the Wheel of Fortune UFO.
The eBay bank certainly took up the most space in their booth, and was eye catching in it's graphic simplicity and primary color palette that is the eBay logo. In a world of bells and whistles, the message here seems to be "less is more." Unfortunately, they followed that theme to a logical end, and made the game itself, well, rather boring.
As someone who spends a lot of time on eBay, I have to say the online auction virtual marketplace is anything BUT boring. The auction concept brings instant and constant excitement, an aspect the eBay slot machine game designers seemed to have missed entirely. There is no auction bonus round in this machine, one where your credits increase as eBayers bid up your items.
There is a community bonus -- which is essentially a "Group Play Free Spins Bonus" with wilds and scatter pays.
IGT describes the allure of this machine thusly: "There's instant brand recognition and an "I HAVE to play THAT game!" reaction when players see the eBay Video Slots game."
I'm not sure this is true, but the five machine bank is big, and if bigger is better, I will say the new machine is hard to ignore. I just think the game itself is a huge let-down.
On the subject of size, IGT has made it's giant UFO looking round Wheel of Fortune machine bank smaller. In their own words "A redesigned wheel and machine footprint means you have more space on your floor. Five player stations face a vertical eye-catching wheel, offering a social atmosphere with great attraction."
IGT is constantly reinventing the Wheel of Fortune machines, but I doubt any have proved as popular as the original quarter machine. If you read between the lines like I do, you might see "The big thing didn't perform as well as we all hoped, and have been vanishing from casino floors, here is our solution -- we are downsizing." As far as I'm concerned they need to make a version that doesn't require an 80 credit bet on the penny machines to be eligible for the big spins. Loosen up the wheel and you might get more players.
I'm not terribly excited about the new Star Wars or Indiana Jones machines. The graphics are great, but if they are anything like the Star Wars predecessors the bonuses will be extremely hard to get.
I'm not saying I won't test ride these machines when they hit the floor, but I seriously doubt any of them will hold my interest or capture my gambling money for long.
IGT has simply rested on their laurels for too long, and allowed their competition WMS to overtake them as arbiters of innovation.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
The REEL Deal Downtown -- Fabled El Cortez Boasts 26% Looser Slots!
You read right, folks -- the legendary El Cortez in downtown Las Vegas boasts 26% looser slots than any other operator in Clark County, Nevada!!! http://www.elcortezhotelcasino.com/
I'm not sure how exactly they arrived at this figure, but it certainly warranted a trip to the other side of the tracks -- or at least Las Vegas Blvd.
You see, the El Cortez is historic, and value-oriented, which is a nice way to say it is an old grind joint. It's location on Fremont East doesn't help it's allure, but the casino/resort (a stretch to call it a resort, but actually it is the first and oldest operating "resort" in Las Vegas) has been upgrading itself, and so has the neighborhood.
This link is a great read on the life of the El Cortez http://www.onlinenevada.org/el_cortez_hotel_casino Built in 1941, the Dude ranch western themed resort predated the El Rancho Vegas, but the original partners soon ran into trouble and Thomas Hull of the El Rancho soon found himself with interests in the El Cortez. By 1945 Bugsy Siegel and his cohorts were involved, but he soon sold his interest to finance the Flamingo. We all know how that ended up for Bugsy. Meanwhile downtown, the El Cortez prospered under new ownership while it played host to many illustrious guests in the post-war era.
In 1963 it found it's most loyal owner yet when Jackie Gaughan purchased the property and began building his downtown casino empire. Although "Mr. Jackie" sold his casinos in 2002, he still lives in the penthouse of the El Cortez, and occasionally plays poker downstairs.
Although it's location a block east of Las Vegas Boulevard put the El Cortez well beyond the comforting canopy of the Fremont Street Experience, it never lost it's charm with die-hard (and down on their luck) locals.
Recent renovations are bringing the El Cortez back to it's former lustre. http://eon.businesswire.com/releases/el_cortez/vegas/prweb544668.htm The Fremont East Entertainment district is reinvigorating night life, and the condo high rise going up next door will surely gentrify the neighborhood. An entrance from Las Vegas Blvd. is being built, the neon sign is in place, but not yet lit.
So things are definitely looking up for the El Cortez -- but what about 26% looser slots? I haven't yet devised a system for comparing slot play from one casino to the next, the best I could do was just sit down and play.
I began with a "Thanksgiving themed Special Edition IGT Wheel of Fortune" machine. I'm not sure if this theme is year round or what -- but it certainly seemed appropriate for the season. I hit a 1000 credit wheel spin, and then made an unfortunate decision to try my luck with the ever volatile "Life of Luxury Far East Fortunes." I quickly lost $50 -- so there I was, down $40, but I did get a drink in the process.
I wandered over to the "Monopoly Super Grand Hotel" bank of machines and played for quite a while, hitting numerous bonus rounds, and retrieved $17 of my losses. The player on the other end of the bank seemed to be hitting many bonus rounds as well.
So I can't say for sure that El Cortez's slots are looser, but I'm tempted to try again, leaving the "Life of Luxury" machine out of the mix.
The joint has a pretty good selection of slots, it isn't too fancy, but it is comfortable. It's running a few different slot promotions I couldn't quite figure out in my short time there, but I will return.
The El Cortez has retained it's Vintage Vegas feel, and is changing just enough to compete with the casinos down the street. A new porte cochere, ventilation system, upgraded rooms, decor and restaurants are nice -- but it's the loose slots that will keep this jockey mounting up.
I'm not sure how exactly they arrived at this figure, but it certainly warranted a trip to the other side of the tracks -- or at least Las Vegas Blvd.
You see, the El Cortez is historic, and value-oriented, which is a nice way to say it is an old grind joint. It's location on Fremont East doesn't help it's allure, but the casino/resort (a stretch to call it a resort, but actually it is the first and oldest operating "resort" in Las Vegas) has been upgrading itself, and so has the neighborhood.
This link is a great read on the life of the El Cortez http://www.onlinenevada.org/el_cortez_hotel_casino Built in 1941, the Dude ranch western themed resort predated the El Rancho Vegas, but the original partners soon ran into trouble and Thomas Hull of the El Rancho soon found himself with interests in the El Cortez. By 1945 Bugsy Siegel and his cohorts were involved, but he soon sold his interest to finance the Flamingo. We all know how that ended up for Bugsy. Meanwhile downtown, the El Cortez prospered under new ownership while it played host to many illustrious guests in the post-war era.
In 1963 it found it's most loyal owner yet when Jackie Gaughan purchased the property and began building his downtown casino empire. Although "Mr. Jackie" sold his casinos in 2002, he still lives in the penthouse of the El Cortez, and occasionally plays poker downstairs.
Although it's location a block east of Las Vegas Boulevard put the El Cortez well beyond the comforting canopy of the Fremont Street Experience, it never lost it's charm with die-hard (and down on their luck) locals.
Recent renovations are bringing the El Cortez back to it's former lustre. http://eon.businesswire.com/releases/el_cortez/vegas/prweb544668.htm The Fremont East Entertainment district is reinvigorating night life, and the condo high rise going up next door will surely gentrify the neighborhood. An entrance from Las Vegas Blvd. is being built, the neon sign is in place, but not yet lit.
So things are definitely looking up for the El Cortez -- but what about 26% looser slots? I haven't yet devised a system for comparing slot play from one casino to the next, the best I could do was just sit down and play.
I began with a "Thanksgiving themed Special Edition IGT Wheel of Fortune" machine. I'm not sure if this theme is year round or what -- but it certainly seemed appropriate for the season. I hit a 1000 credit wheel spin, and then made an unfortunate decision to try my luck with the ever volatile "Life of Luxury Far East Fortunes." I quickly lost $50 -- so there I was, down $40, but I did get a drink in the process.
I wandered over to the "Monopoly Super Grand Hotel" bank of machines and played for quite a while, hitting numerous bonus rounds, and retrieved $17 of my losses. The player on the other end of the bank seemed to be hitting many bonus rounds as well.
So I can't say for sure that El Cortez's slots are looser, but I'm tempted to try again, leaving the "Life of Luxury" machine out of the mix.
The joint has a pretty good selection of slots, it isn't too fancy, but it is comfortable. It's running a few different slot promotions I couldn't quite figure out in my short time there, but I will return.
The El Cortez has retained it's Vintage Vegas feel, and is changing just enough to compete with the casinos down the street. A new porte cochere, ventilation system, upgraded rooms, decor and restaurants are nice -- but it's the loose slots that will keep this jockey mounting up.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Christmas Shopping? Don't Head to the Mall, Head to the Casino!
I got my first email come-on from the MGM/Mirage casinos today, after updating my info at Mandalay Bay a couple of months ago. It came in the form of a "Lasso Some Loot at Monte Carlo" $40,000 free play giveaway promotion. I poked around the links in the email and found the Player's Club website.
I clicked on the Holiday Gift Shoppe (I guess and extra p and e spells classy) 2007 catalog.
https://www.playersclub.com/HGS/default.aspx A Cartier Tank Watch, and Apple MacBook --Wowee -- this crap beats the hell out of the offerings at Silverton's Expansion Sale! Of course I'll need in excess of 500,000 points to put these presents under my tree, but how hard could THAT be?
There's the rub . . . after reading over all the FAQs on the website, TWICE, I still could not find the answer to the most basic question -- how does coin in convert to points? I was able to determine that a point was worth a penny, and 1000 points equals $10.00 -- therefore these high dollar gifts are worth roughly $5,000 in the points conversion. But, I still don't know how much I have to gamble to earn my points. I'll ask at the Player's Club next time I'm in one of their casinos
As pretty and enticing as the MGM/Mirage Holiday Gift Shoppe is, I doubt it will replace a trip to Target or Best Buy on black Friday. Perhaps the high rollers at the Bellagio can dispatch their personal shoppers to redeem their points, but for the time being I'll begin wrapping up my freebie "As Seen on TV" Pasta Makers and Foot Massagers.
I clicked on the Holiday Gift Shoppe (I guess and extra p and e spells classy) 2007 catalog.
https://www.playersclub.com/HGS/default.aspx A Cartier Tank Watch, and Apple MacBook --Wowee -- this crap beats the hell out of the offerings at Silverton's Expansion Sale! Of course I'll need in excess of 500,000 points to put these presents under my tree, but how hard could THAT be?
There's the rub . . . after reading over all the FAQs on the website, TWICE, I still could not find the answer to the most basic question -- how does coin in convert to points? I was able to determine that a point was worth a penny, and 1000 points equals $10.00 -- therefore these high dollar gifts are worth roughly $5,000 in the points conversion. But, I still don't know how much I have to gamble to earn my points. I'll ask at the Player's Club next time I'm in one of their casinos
As pretty and enticing as the MGM/Mirage Holiday Gift Shoppe is, I doubt it will replace a trip to Target or Best Buy on black Friday. Perhaps the high rollers at the Bellagio can dispatch their personal shoppers to redeem their points, but for the time being I'll begin wrapping up my freebie "As Seen on TV" Pasta Makers and Foot Massagers.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Adaptive Gaming featuring Star Trek Machines from WMS
I'm just now starting to digest all the new slot machines I saw at the Global Gaming Expo last week.
One of the big, new technologies from WMS is something they call "Adaptive Gaming." One of the guys in their booth told me it will allow a player to create a profile, (much like in a video game,) and they will be able to advance through tiers of play, even picking up where they left off on subsequent play.
The WMS brochure describes it as "a completely immersive environment that adjusts to player's personal accomplishments and preferences. Using our Wide Area network and advanced WAGE-NET system, players can unlock new "episodes" in the STAR TREK adventure and save their state so they can "pick up where they left off" during their next visit."
I picked up on the concept rather quickly, and asked the WMS guy to show me exactly how a player would create their profile. He told me it would probably happen through the player's card, but he didn't seem so sure. I asked if the player's info could go from to casino to casino, and he wasn't sure of this either. He assured me it would all be worked out, and that these machines wouldn't be on the floors for quite some time.
It's a good thing I'm not a slot manager, otherwise It would piss me off to see a machine I wanted on my floor ASAP, only to get the runaround on the specifics and ETA.
The "Star Trek" machine itself seemed pretty fun, it was mounted on one of those Bose stereo chair systems like the "Top Gun" and "Wizard of Oz" machines. There is a "Trouble with Tribbles" Bonus and a sort of pinball looking bonus, and you collect Medals, that I believe are tied into the tier system.
You would think with all these new machines on free play, my urge to hit the slots would be satiated. Not true, as there is no substitute for playing with real money.
I suggest the slot makers really up the odds next year and offer cold hard cash, for testing out their machines at the show in 2008. A free drink and demo is nice, but why not hit the industry where it lives, and give the insiders a real taste of their own medicine?
One of the big, new technologies from WMS is something they call "Adaptive Gaming." One of the guys in their booth told me it will allow a player to create a profile, (much like in a video game,) and they will be able to advance through tiers of play, even picking up where they left off on subsequent play.
The WMS brochure describes it as "a completely immersive environment that adjusts to player's personal accomplishments and preferences. Using our Wide Area network and advanced WAGE-NET system, players can unlock new "episodes" in the STAR TREK adventure and save their state so they can "pick up where they left off" during their next visit."
I picked up on the concept rather quickly, and asked the WMS guy to show me exactly how a player would create their profile. He told me it would probably happen through the player's card, but he didn't seem so sure. I asked if the player's info could go from to casino to casino, and he wasn't sure of this either. He assured me it would all be worked out, and that these machines wouldn't be on the floors for quite some time.
It's a good thing I'm not a slot manager, otherwise It would piss me off to see a machine I wanted on my floor ASAP, only to get the runaround on the specifics and ETA.
The "Star Trek" machine itself seemed pretty fun, it was mounted on one of those Bose stereo chair systems like the "Top Gun" and "Wizard of Oz" machines. There is a "Trouble with Tribbles" Bonus and a sort of pinball looking bonus, and you collect Medals, that I believe are tied into the tier system.
You would think with all these new machines on free play, my urge to hit the slots would be satiated. Not true, as there is no substitute for playing with real money.
I suggest the slot makers really up the odds next year and offer cold hard cash, for testing out their machines at the show in 2008. A free drink and demo is nice, but why not hit the industry where it lives, and give the insiders a real taste of their own medicine?
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Crappy Casino Come-ons or the Night Red Rock Ran Out of Robes
This may possibly be the last blog I ever write. I'm serious. My whole belief system has been shaken to the core. My world has come to an ugly, crashing halt.
I honestly don't know whether I can go on. It's one of those days where something a rational person may perceive as minor, to me becomes a major blow to my sanity.
It's the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I'm simply crushed. You may think I'm joking, or exaggerating for effect. But I am not. It's a personal tragedy of such proportion, that my very ability to live and breath and make it through the night will be severely tested.
Today was the day, that Red Rock (and I presume other Stations Casinos) finally had a decent give away -- a nice, big, fluffy, white robe -- and the very second I finally achieved my 500 points, and strode up the the promotions counter, they ran out of them.
I had been waiting for this day and my fluffy white robe for weeks. . . WEEKS . . . God and Stations Casinos really does hate me.
I can take losing money --- lots of money --- I've learned to stoically walk out of the casino, and drive away controlling my anger and fear.
But this . . . THIS, I don't know if I can survive this slight.
Mostly, Stations Casinos give away really, really crappy stuff. How crappy? Last week they gave away a drawstring bag, I kid you not, now THAT'S crappy. These giveaways happen once or twice a week, and are used to lure us locals into their gambling dens. It may be ice cream bowls or a "Guaranteed Play" T-shirt (which I cut up to use as rags to polish silver,) but generally the stuff is pretty cheap and useless, ergo a drawstring bag -- which I suppose I could store my rags in. When you have to actually apply thought towards re-purposing an item, that is one crappy come-on. The crappiest of give aways usually appear during "Mystery Gift" day, which Stations uses to clean out their inventory of crap.
Silverton Casino gives away slightly better stuff. I actually like my turkey tureen, and pumpkin teapot I got this month, and the turkey platter may actually get used this holiday. This weekend Silverton had an "Expansion Sale" to clear out their inventory under the guise of making space for their new tower. I guess all that crap takes up a lot of space. You see, I do believe that Silverton (take note Stations) judging from all the stuff at the sale, buys enough of these items so that every slot member can get one, should they show up that day.
The "Expansion Sale" had most items available for $1 or 500 slot points. Their big fluffy white robes, however were $20. Of course in anticipation of picking up my big fluffy white robe at Red Rock the next day simply for earning 500 points, I wasn't interested in buying Silverton's.
The sale was set up by the pool, and the item displayed on my promotional post card that I had my eye on was a red enamel colander -- quite useful, and attractive. I got to the sale around 4pm, and there were no colanders left. There were weird modern chrome plated toilet paper holders, chrome hanging baskets, As Seen on TV Pasta cookers, food flipper thingies, foot pampering kits (only 50 cents,) pumpkin teapots, pumpkin gravy boats, turkey platters, battery cables, American flag trays, gingerbread man trays, bunny trays, wire fruit baskets, sweatshirts, and the aforementioned robes, among other things.
For every five items you purchased you got one free. In the line for cash payment, the guy running it was giving away an average of two or three things free to those buying quantity, and making deals on whole boxes of stuff. My first run through, I bought five items and paid with my points (It came out to about 1000 points for five things, not 2000.) I took the stuff out to my car, and came back for more. On my second trip I paid $5 cash and left with two sacks full of assorted and sundry freebies (well, not free today, but damn near close.)
The sale seemed to be very popular, and I kept thinking about all the friends and relatives unwrapping modern chrome toilet paper holders on Christmas day saying "What the HELL is this?!!"
Rampart Casino actually tailors it's Christmas season giveaways to Grandparents (Rampart is in area surrounded by retirement communities) shopping for little ones, by offering radio controlled cars.
So now I have bags full of crap, and I know the true value of this promotional stuff -- about a buck.
Still, I was excited to get a big fluffy white robe (BFWR) from Station Casinos (I had spied it in a case at Palace Station, and it did look quite useful.) To get the robe, I would have to rack up 500 points, which from previous experience I knew would take a few hours of my regular play. The giveaway counter was open until 8pm, and I arrived around 4:30pm, which should have given me plenty of time.
I first swiped my player's card at the kiosk, which told me I was eligible for both 7x and 3x points. I chose 7x and tried to chose 3x as well, when the kiosk freaked out and told me to see the Player's booth.
I wasn't certain if the multipliers would figure into my 500 points, if I understand correctly the multipliers don't kick in for 72 hours. No worries though, I commenced to playing "Sultan's Jewels and the Genie" an older game, I've recently discovered that has a feature reel with 3 different bonuses (Snake Charmer, Right to Left win, and Magic Lamp) plus a traditional bonus game. I was sitting across from the giveaway table and could see the BFWRs, and all the players picking them up.
I moved over to the new "John Wayne" machine and got almost $40 ahead. I was feeling pretty good, but I kept checking my points, and they weren't racking up as fast as I thought. I continued to play "John Wayne" and began to lose my lead. I moved back the Sultan and the Genie and began playing faster. This seemed to suit this machine, and I hit quite a few bonus rounds. I kept eyeing the BFWRs and anticipating picking mine up. After a couple of beers, I went to the restroom and when I return someone was on "Genie and the Sultan" so I walked over to the "Goosin' Around" machines. I couldn't hit a bonus round (I've since learned these are part of WMS' G+ "volatile" "celebrate the win" series) -- and I wasn't celebrating.
I tried "Village People Party" and then moved back to my position across from the BFWR. I was playing as fast as I could, and although it was getting later, I thought I would still hit my 500 points in time.
As I looked over to the giveaway table I saw a disturbing sight. There was still a pile of BFWRs but it was growing smaller, and a pile of "As Seen on TV Foot Massagers" had appeared. I should have known right there that they were running out of robes, and would replace them with the crappy gift I had already received on a previous visit, but I kept the faith and continued to rack up points. I was only 50 points away from BFWR nirvana, and I comforted myself with the thought that surely they wouldn't run out of robes, especially for such loyal a player as I.
Of course, I was wrong. As soon as I hit 500 points (not one more, not one less) I bounded over to the table only to have all my hopes and dreams dashed. The girl at the table couldn't have been nicer, and she could sense my distress growing. She offered that they often run out of the good stuff -- this statement didn't real help, except it did give me a little ammunition for my arsenal against Stations and their plot to ruin my life. I asked if I could pick up the BFWR at other Stations (I was desparate at this point, I knew this was unlikely) and she replied they might have some, but they all close at 8pm (it was 7:45pm.) She mentioned that I could check at the Player's Club, and I walked over there, but the line was very long. I asked a floor guy standing there in a suit, and he said they had nothing to do with the giveaways.
I returned to the table, thanked the girl for her kindness, and told her to give her boss hell. I took my crappy Foot Massager, and tried to put on my bravest face.
I hit the "Life of Luxury Far East Fortunes" machine on the way out. I got a bonus round, but quickly began to see I was losing control. The only thing worse than leaving with a Foot Massager instead of a BFWR would be losing a considerable amount of money in the process.
I got home, poured myself a drink, and had a good cry.
Tomorrow I will shop for a BFWR paid with cold, hard cash to sooth my troubled soul -- it won't be the same, but I suppose it is not the end of the world.
So the moral of the story is -- at Station's Casinos gamble early and gamble often on big fluffy white robe giveaway day -- the good crap goes fast.
I honestly don't know whether I can go on. It's one of those days where something a rational person may perceive as minor, to me becomes a major blow to my sanity.
It's the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I'm simply crushed. You may think I'm joking, or exaggerating for effect. But I am not. It's a personal tragedy of such proportion, that my very ability to live and breath and make it through the night will be severely tested.
Today was the day, that Red Rock (and I presume other Stations Casinos) finally had a decent give away -- a nice, big, fluffy, white robe -- and the very second I finally achieved my 500 points, and strode up the the promotions counter, they ran out of them.
I had been waiting for this day and my fluffy white robe for weeks. . . WEEKS . . . God and Stations Casinos really does hate me.
I can take losing money --- lots of money --- I've learned to stoically walk out of the casino, and drive away controlling my anger and fear.
But this . . . THIS, I don't know if I can survive this slight.
Mostly, Stations Casinos give away really, really crappy stuff. How crappy? Last week they gave away a drawstring bag, I kid you not, now THAT'S crappy. These giveaways happen once or twice a week, and are used to lure us locals into their gambling dens. It may be ice cream bowls or a "Guaranteed Play" T-shirt (which I cut up to use as rags to polish silver,) but generally the stuff is pretty cheap and useless, ergo a drawstring bag -- which I suppose I could store my rags in. When you have to actually apply thought towards re-purposing an item, that is one crappy come-on. The crappiest of give aways usually appear during "Mystery Gift" day, which Stations uses to clean out their inventory of crap.
Silverton Casino gives away slightly better stuff. I actually like my turkey tureen, and pumpkin teapot I got this month, and the turkey platter may actually get used this holiday. This weekend Silverton had an "Expansion Sale" to clear out their inventory under the guise of making space for their new tower. I guess all that crap takes up a lot of space. You see, I do believe that Silverton (take note Stations) judging from all the stuff at the sale, buys enough of these items so that every slot member can get one, should they show up that day.
The "Expansion Sale" had most items available for $1 or 500 slot points. Their big fluffy white robes, however were $20. Of course in anticipation of picking up my big fluffy white robe at Red Rock the next day simply for earning 500 points, I wasn't interested in buying Silverton's.
The sale was set up by the pool, and the item displayed on my promotional post card that I had my eye on was a red enamel colander -- quite useful, and attractive. I got to the sale around 4pm, and there were no colanders left. There were weird modern chrome plated toilet paper holders, chrome hanging baskets, As Seen on TV Pasta cookers, food flipper thingies, foot pampering kits (only 50 cents,) pumpkin teapots, pumpkin gravy boats, turkey platters, battery cables, American flag trays, gingerbread man trays, bunny trays, wire fruit baskets, sweatshirts, and the aforementioned robes, among other things.
For every five items you purchased you got one free. In the line for cash payment, the guy running it was giving away an average of two or three things free to those buying quantity, and making deals on whole boxes of stuff. My first run through, I bought five items and paid with my points (It came out to about 1000 points for five things, not 2000.) I took the stuff out to my car, and came back for more. On my second trip I paid $5 cash and left with two sacks full of assorted and sundry freebies (well, not free today, but damn near close.)
The sale seemed to be very popular, and I kept thinking about all the friends and relatives unwrapping modern chrome toilet paper holders on Christmas day saying "What the HELL is this?!!"
Rampart Casino actually tailors it's Christmas season giveaways to Grandparents (Rampart is in area surrounded by retirement communities) shopping for little ones, by offering radio controlled cars.
So now I have bags full of crap, and I know the true value of this promotional stuff -- about a buck.
Still, I was excited to get a big fluffy white robe (BFWR) from Station Casinos (I had spied it in a case at Palace Station, and it did look quite useful.) To get the robe, I would have to rack up 500 points, which from previous experience I knew would take a few hours of my regular play. The giveaway counter was open until 8pm, and I arrived around 4:30pm, which should have given me plenty of time.
I first swiped my player's card at the kiosk, which told me I was eligible for both 7x and 3x points. I chose 7x and tried to chose 3x as well, when the kiosk freaked out and told me to see the Player's booth.
I wasn't certain if the multipliers would figure into my 500 points, if I understand correctly the multipliers don't kick in for 72 hours. No worries though, I commenced to playing "Sultan's Jewels and the Genie" an older game, I've recently discovered that has a feature reel with 3 different bonuses (Snake Charmer, Right to Left win, and Magic Lamp) plus a traditional bonus game. I was sitting across from the giveaway table and could see the BFWRs, and all the players picking them up.
I moved over to the new "John Wayne" machine and got almost $40 ahead. I was feeling pretty good, but I kept checking my points, and they weren't racking up as fast as I thought. I continued to play "John Wayne" and began to lose my lead. I moved back the Sultan and the Genie and began playing faster. This seemed to suit this machine, and I hit quite a few bonus rounds. I kept eyeing the BFWRs and anticipating picking mine up. After a couple of beers, I went to the restroom and when I return someone was on "Genie and the Sultan" so I walked over to the "Goosin' Around" machines. I couldn't hit a bonus round (I've since learned these are part of WMS' G+ "volatile" "celebrate the win" series) -- and I wasn't celebrating.
I tried "Village People Party" and then moved back to my position across from the BFWR. I was playing as fast as I could, and although it was getting later, I thought I would still hit my 500 points in time.
As I looked over to the giveaway table I saw a disturbing sight. There was still a pile of BFWRs but it was growing smaller, and a pile of "As Seen on TV Foot Massagers" had appeared. I should have known right there that they were running out of robes, and would replace them with the crappy gift I had already received on a previous visit, but I kept the faith and continued to rack up points. I was only 50 points away from BFWR nirvana, and I comforted myself with the thought that surely they wouldn't run out of robes, especially for such loyal a player as I.
Of course, I was wrong. As soon as I hit 500 points (not one more, not one less) I bounded over to the table only to have all my hopes and dreams dashed. The girl at the table couldn't have been nicer, and she could sense my distress growing. She offered that they often run out of the good stuff -- this statement didn't real help, except it did give me a little ammunition for my arsenal against Stations and their plot to ruin my life. I asked if I could pick up the BFWR at other Stations (I was desparate at this point, I knew this was unlikely) and she replied they might have some, but they all close at 8pm (it was 7:45pm.) She mentioned that I could check at the Player's Club, and I walked over there, but the line was very long. I asked a floor guy standing there in a suit, and he said they had nothing to do with the giveaways.
I returned to the table, thanked the girl for her kindness, and told her to give her boss hell. I took my crappy Foot Massager, and tried to put on my bravest face.
I hit the "Life of Luxury Far East Fortunes" machine on the way out. I got a bonus round, but quickly began to see I was losing control. The only thing worse than leaving with a Foot Massager instead of a BFWR would be losing a considerable amount of money in the process.
I got home, poured myself a drink, and had a good cry.
Tomorrow I will shop for a BFWR paid with cold, hard cash to sooth my troubled soul -- it won't be the same, but I suppose it is not the end of the world.
So the moral of the story is -- at Station's Casinos gamble early and gamble often on big fluffy white robe giveaway day -- the good crap goes fast.
A Trip to the Strip Where Dreams and Themes Die Hard
This evening I decided to visit the new Planet Hollywood themed Casino resort in the old Aladdin. The Grand Opening was not yet in full swing, but plenty of lights, cameras and red carpets in anticipation of plenty of action were in place.
Only in Las Vegas could one bankrupt entity, Planet Hollywood, find the backing to buy another bankrupt entity, the Aladdin. Apparently in Sin City, two wrongs make a right!
In a town literally made of money, there is always a chance to roll the dice, even with borrowed, high risk dollars.
Judging from my slot losses, if they can keep the suckers walking through the door (this sucker does not plan to return), Planet Hollywood will do just fine. But before I give you the rundown on the slot action -- a little background on the theming and financing of the joint.
This article from the AP entitled "Planet Hollywood Exec Rebuilding Wealth"
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jjOvMNiE9S4ELLsSSshNHr10D_uwD8STV5D80
gets it mostly right. It does state that Aladdin did not have a player's club to track action -- which is not true -- when I updated my card at the "A-List" PH (Planet Hollywood) club, my accumulated points from the Aladdin were present.
Perhaps the Aladdin player's club was so bad, they would like to believe it didn't exist. On this point, I don't see the PH club doing much better. I asked if there were any incentives for locals, the the representative told me "no" but I could play the big slot machine once a day for a chance at a big win (I pushed the button and lost, I can't remember what the big win was.) There also was one of those goofy, phony "slot tournaments" where you walk in at any time on a bank of machines, push the button a lot and walk away with a pair of plastic dice.
They did not ask me for email at the slot club, and failed to inform me that there was a drawing for a big (58" I believe) TV I could enter. Someone REALLY needs to train the Players' Club people in this town to be pleasant, upbeat, informative, and thorough. PH does have two Player's Club locations on opposite sides of the casino, which is a plus, that is how I noticed that the one didn't let me know about the drawing bin at the other.
Judging from the room rates on the Planet Hollywood website http://www.planethollywoodresort.com/ it appears that perhaps they are aiming for a mid-market clientele, undercutting the competition (Bellagio, and Paris) across the street.
The Aladdin always seemed to strive for an upper-middle market, never being the classiest joint in town, but respectable enough to draw it's share of stars of celebrities (Elvis married Priscilla there), that added to it's allure through the years. The opulent Arabian Nights theme seemed perfect for the desert, echoing a time when themes actually reflected the physical landscape of Las Vegas.
The landscape of Las Vegas has definitely changed -- from a dusty western outpost, to a desert dream of rags to riches, to a sex-drenched, celebrity infested, hyper-modern money grab. Okay, Vegas has always been about sex, money, and celebrity, but the LOOK of the fantasy has evolved.
A few years ago, I wondered why no chic, sleek, modern (a la W hotels at the time) resort/casinos existed in Las Vegas. Little did I know that fast forward to the present, and "modern chic" would overrun the Strip and beyond, trampling overt theming such as the Luxor, and Treasure Island, in it's wake.
If you are expecting the Planet Hollywood Casino to look like a Planet Hollywood cafe exploded, you will be disappointed. I couldn't find any Hollywood or Movie memorabilia on the casino floor, save for some framed B&W celebrity photos on the walls leading to the mall. I haven't seen the rooms, but apparently some do include memorabilia and are themed to specific movies, such as a "Pulp Fiction" suite.
What Planet Hollywood does look like is "modern chic" crossed with Times Square video screen monstrosities. I suppose Hollywood is too cool to celebrate itself with historical vestiges, but more than happy to acknowledge that life now is one big silver (video) screen. Perhaps you could call it "purity of form," I call it boring.
The look of the exterior and casino floor just doesn't do it for me. I did appreciate the Swarovski crystal globe like chandeliers, but they aren't quite as pretty as the ones at Red Rock. The crystal columns in the lobby are different, and downstairs you will find "Obsessions" a celebrity drenched memorabilia and art gallery that includes a wonderful room devoted to photos of Frank Sinatra.
All and all, visually Planet Hollywood has it's high points, but they are few and far between. Gentlemen will appreciate the sexy dancing dealers on pedestals in the "Passion Pit" -- but I'm first and foremost a slot jockey, so it was time to choose a mount and get to the business at hand.
I found some older Monopoly penny machines "It's All in the Cards," "Own it All," and the one with the dog. I quickly lost $20. On the other side of the floor I found what is probably the last "Fortune Cookie" penny machine in town. I lost there too, but did get a beer in the process. Armed with a little liquid courage, I sauntered up to "Drew Carrey's Big Balls of Cash" carousel. If you read yesterday's post, there is a link to a New York Times article that details the development of these machines. I haven't seen any in Vegas in quite some time, and thought they were a flash in the pan. Drew took my money as well, and I was berated by a couple of his put-downs and wisecracks in the process. Note to IGT -- being told you're a loser while you are losing, is NOT funny.
At this point I had to visit the ATM, which charged me a whopping $4.00 for the transaction. I headed upstairs to check out the vantage point from above, and yep, the casino floor still looked rather bland from that perspective. The VIP party was getting underway for "invited guests" but no celebs were to be seen, just your regular avid casino customer types. I spied some "Monster Mansion" penny machines in what used to be the high roller area of the Aladdin, and sat down there, losing about $10.
On the way back downstairs, I thought maybe Elvis would be lucky for me, and quickly lost a bunch on his 25 cent machines. Now I was plain pissed off. Still not convinced that PH could be so damn tight with their machines, I attacked Monopoly once again. Nothing. When all was said and done, I lost well over $100, possibly closer to $200.
PH needs to spend less time and money updating the decor and more attention to their outdated slot selection.
I walked through a portion of the "Miracle Mile Shops" on my way out, to distract myself from my losses, and make a few more notes on the "modernization" of the mall.
Even my beloved "Trader Vic's" has gone sleek and chic, and it's menu streamlined. No more Tikis and thick menus with exotic entrees that could leave even the most sophisticated gourmet scratching his head. For that you'll have to visit the original Trader Vic's in Emeryville, California.
This is Vegas, baby -- where new modern retro cool is 50 years behind the times, and the real deals are imploded with abandon. Ain't it a kick in the head?
Saturday, Bruce Willis will preside over the big Grand Opening event at 7:30pm proving that themes and dreams really do die hard.
Only in Las Vegas could one bankrupt entity, Planet Hollywood, find the backing to buy another bankrupt entity, the Aladdin. Apparently in Sin City, two wrongs make a right!
In a town literally made of money, there is always a chance to roll the dice, even with borrowed, high risk dollars.
Judging from my slot losses, if they can keep the suckers walking through the door (this sucker does not plan to return), Planet Hollywood will do just fine. But before I give you the rundown on the slot action -- a little background on the theming and financing of the joint.
This article from the AP entitled "Planet Hollywood Exec Rebuilding Wealth"
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jjOvMNiE9S4ELLsSSshNHr10D_uwD8STV5D80
gets it mostly right. It does state that Aladdin did not have a player's club to track action -- which is not true -- when I updated my card at the "A-List" PH (Planet Hollywood) club, my accumulated points from the Aladdin were present.
Perhaps the Aladdin player's club was so bad, they would like to believe it didn't exist. On this point, I don't see the PH club doing much better. I asked if there were any incentives for locals, the the representative told me "no" but I could play the big slot machine once a day for a chance at a big win (I pushed the button and lost, I can't remember what the big win was.) There also was one of those goofy, phony "slot tournaments" where you walk in at any time on a bank of machines, push the button a lot and walk away with a pair of plastic dice.
They did not ask me for email at the slot club, and failed to inform me that there was a drawing for a big (58" I believe) TV I could enter. Someone REALLY needs to train the Players' Club people in this town to be pleasant, upbeat, informative, and thorough. PH does have two Player's Club locations on opposite sides of the casino, which is a plus, that is how I noticed that the one didn't let me know about the drawing bin at the other.
Judging from the room rates on the Planet Hollywood website http://www.planethollywoodresort.com/ it appears that perhaps they are aiming for a mid-market clientele, undercutting the competition (Bellagio, and Paris) across the street.
The Aladdin always seemed to strive for an upper-middle market, never being the classiest joint in town, but respectable enough to draw it's share of stars of celebrities (Elvis married Priscilla there), that added to it's allure through the years. The opulent Arabian Nights theme seemed perfect for the desert, echoing a time when themes actually reflected the physical landscape of Las Vegas.
The landscape of Las Vegas has definitely changed -- from a dusty western outpost, to a desert dream of rags to riches, to a sex-drenched, celebrity infested, hyper-modern money grab. Okay, Vegas has always been about sex, money, and celebrity, but the LOOK of the fantasy has evolved.
A few years ago, I wondered why no chic, sleek, modern (a la W hotels at the time) resort/casinos existed in Las Vegas. Little did I know that fast forward to the present, and "modern chic" would overrun the Strip and beyond, trampling overt theming such as the Luxor, and Treasure Island, in it's wake.
If you are expecting the Planet Hollywood Casino to look like a Planet Hollywood cafe exploded, you will be disappointed. I couldn't find any Hollywood or Movie memorabilia on the casino floor, save for some framed B&W celebrity photos on the walls leading to the mall. I haven't seen the rooms, but apparently some do include memorabilia and are themed to specific movies, such as a "Pulp Fiction" suite.
What Planet Hollywood does look like is "modern chic" crossed with Times Square video screen monstrosities. I suppose Hollywood is too cool to celebrate itself with historical vestiges, but more than happy to acknowledge that life now is one big silver (video) screen. Perhaps you could call it "purity of form," I call it boring.
The look of the exterior and casino floor just doesn't do it for me. I did appreciate the Swarovski crystal globe like chandeliers, but they aren't quite as pretty as the ones at Red Rock. The crystal columns in the lobby are different, and downstairs you will find "Obsessions" a celebrity drenched memorabilia and art gallery that includes a wonderful room devoted to photos of Frank Sinatra.
All and all, visually Planet Hollywood has it's high points, but they are few and far between. Gentlemen will appreciate the sexy dancing dealers on pedestals in the "Passion Pit" -- but I'm first and foremost a slot jockey, so it was time to choose a mount and get to the business at hand.
I found some older Monopoly penny machines "It's All in the Cards," "Own it All," and the one with the dog. I quickly lost $20. On the other side of the floor I found what is probably the last "Fortune Cookie" penny machine in town. I lost there too, but did get a beer in the process. Armed with a little liquid courage, I sauntered up to "Drew Carrey's Big Balls of Cash" carousel. If you read yesterday's post, there is a link to a New York Times article that details the development of these machines. I haven't seen any in Vegas in quite some time, and thought they were a flash in the pan. Drew took my money as well, and I was berated by a couple of his put-downs and wisecracks in the process. Note to IGT -- being told you're a loser while you are losing, is NOT funny.
At this point I had to visit the ATM, which charged me a whopping $4.00 for the transaction. I headed upstairs to check out the vantage point from above, and yep, the casino floor still looked rather bland from that perspective. The VIP party was getting underway for "invited guests" but no celebs were to be seen, just your regular avid casino customer types. I spied some "Monster Mansion" penny machines in what used to be the high roller area of the Aladdin, and sat down there, losing about $10.
On the way back downstairs, I thought maybe Elvis would be lucky for me, and quickly lost a bunch on his 25 cent machines. Now I was plain pissed off. Still not convinced that PH could be so damn tight with their machines, I attacked Monopoly once again. Nothing. When all was said and done, I lost well over $100, possibly closer to $200.
PH needs to spend less time and money updating the decor and more attention to their outdated slot selection.
I walked through a portion of the "Miracle Mile Shops" on my way out, to distract myself from my losses, and make a few more notes on the "modernization" of the mall.
Even my beloved "Trader Vic's" has gone sleek and chic, and it's menu streamlined. No more Tikis and thick menus with exotic entrees that could leave even the most sophisticated gourmet scratching his head. For that you'll have to visit the original Trader Vic's in Emeryville, California.
This is Vegas, baby -- where new modern retro cool is 50 years behind the times, and the real deals are imploded with abandon. Ain't it a kick in the head?
Saturday, Bruce Willis will preside over the big Grand Opening event at 7:30pm proving that themes and dreams really do die hard.
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