Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Fed to the Lions

I know I promised to return to slot related blogging, and trust me I've played plenty of slots the last two days, but dang it, if Las Vegas doesn't have so much to offer besides gambling. Everyday is a new adventure.

Today, I decided to venture down to New York, New York casino and resort. I had a fine time, played WMS' "Lucky Seals" and their widely popular (only a slight overstatement, they really are more popular than "Super Money Grab") "Super Grand Hotel." I even took a turn at IGT's "Star Wars -- The Empire Strikes Back." I also went old school and played a nine line nickel machine "The Price is Right Plinko." Then 'cuz I like to mix it up I tried Bally's "Hot Shot" machine.

Since I was right across the street from the fabulous MGM, namesake to the mega MGM/Mirage super corporate conglomerate, I tried my luck on the east side of Las Vegas Blvd.

MGM has a fascinating lion habitat (you know, because their logo/mascot is the roaring lion)display right off the main entrance. Two young lions were literally lounging around sleeping on the roof (their floor) of the clear plexiglass tunnel leading to (what else?) the obiquitous gift shop.

Two trainers were hanging with the lions, and they seemed slightly more alert than their supine canines. I suppose it is wise to let sleeping lions lie, but it is also wise to keep a close eye on their movements, should they unexpectantly spring to life.

This afforded us spectators some wonderful photo ops. But wait, there's more. Just in case we happened to be wondering what these lionesses (they were young, and I believe female.) did when they weren't getting their beauty rest, a roving commentator filled us in on the salicious details. Clad in Safari shorts, vest and hat, with a microphone headset this guide informed us that they would be feeding the lions in 35 minutes.

As if that wasn't enough information, he also kindly let us know that the lions are quite happy in their luxurious accomodations, costing millions (9, 14? I can't quite remember) of dollars.

Well, that was a comforting thought, but here's where his spiel ventured into the realm of TMI -- Too Much Information.

He wanted us to know that the lions are fed only the best -- NEBRASKA Brand Specially Formulated HORSE Meat!!!!

The lions love it so much, they consume between 8 and 15 pounds a day!

I had considered returning for the feeding, but this information really disturbed me, especially since the Lion Habitat is right across from the SPORTS Book! One glance assured me that many beautiful horses were running their hearts out, trying to avoid the horrible fate of being FED TO THE LIONS!

I was so upset, I had to play some Elvis Quarter slots. Luckily I won a couple bucks, and I hightailed it out of the MGM.

Note to the person in charge of the MGM Lion Habitat -- delete the word "horse" from the commentator's script.

The thought of Trigger or Secretariat being devoured by your lions is just more than I can bear, and really, really bad for business.

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